Travel, History, and Culture in America's Dairyland

Field Trip:  Meet Your Legislator

Fish Frys

Hey kids, can’t find your representative in the Capitol building? Did you check under the nearest bar? Did you consult the kooky astrological symbols painted on the Capitol ceilings? 

Truth is, your elected official probably beat a path out of the building faster than mom and dad left the EdVest program. 

Where do our citizen-statesmen go after laboring on our behalf?

Buddy up, kids, let’s take a little walk around the Capitol Square. Who else takes you inside the belly of the beast? Who? Who? Classic Wisconsin, that’s who.

First, the big house.

There’s very little about our Capitol building that isn’t obvious to both tourists and insiders alike. It’s big, nearly as tall as the nation’s Capitol. It’s bold, topped by a gilded woman with a badger on her head. And it’s beautiful, with artwork representing lofty ideals like liberty and justice (although “legislation” is portrayed as a scary old man).

So what’s with the nutty astrology? There are zodiac symbols all over the place. Looks like Miss Cleo set up shop before the attorney general ran her out of town.

Astrology – the alleged influence of the stars and planets on humans – is portrayed in the four entrances found between the Capitol wings. Known as “Round Rooms” because, well, they’re round, the ceilings are decorated with the signs of the zodiac. Look, there’s Taurus the Bull, patron of bullshit, a suitable image for the building, yes, but what about the others? Pisces are awful people. You would not want Pisces running the state. 

The zodiac business started in the governor’s conference room. Isn’t that reassuring?

It was 1904 when fire gutted the second Capitol building. Work began on the third incarnation, an 11-year project producing the building as it looks today. 

The zodiac idea came from the Doges Palace, the 13th Century Italian government building. That was before zodiacs became associated with 900-numbers, lava lamps and velvet wallpaper. The palace was an inspiration for Capitol architects when they were working on the governor’s conference room.

So blame it on those wacky Italians. If only their 20-hour work week had been copied!

We in Wisconsin might be biased, but we do have the best looking state Capitol in the country. For one example, the holiday tree erected in the rotunda every December is among the all-time cool Wisconsin sites. And the place was the scene of Bob La Follette’s funeral, Father James Groppi’s protests, and Sec. of State Doug La Follette’s demonstration of waterless toilets.

It remains a building for the people, open to tourists, politicians, lobbyists -- questionable characters of all sorts -- including the Piscean, a highly complex personality that must be the center attention in his/her lover’s life. 

Crossing the street -- look out for that senator! -- you’ll notice Madison has its share of taverns, bars and restaurants conveniently located on or near the Capitol Square, each place happily accommodating politicians and their sycophants. There’s a massage parlor, too, but the area doesn’t rank with the “tenderloin” districts in larger cities. I guess it could be called a veal district.

Our first stop is the Argus, 123 E. Main, once voted the #1 political hangout in Madison. No surprise then that an assemblyman saw his career slide down the drain like so much backwash.

The Eau Claire rep was on probation for a variety of well-publicized drinking/drug/domestic offenses back home. His probation required abstinence from the hooch, a requirement he ignored when in Madison, especially at the Argus…until an opposing staff member grew tired of the reps’ flagrant partying and reported him to State corrections officials. The rep was arrested yet again, this time for violating probation. He was voted out of office in the next election.

Just a block away is the Great Dane Brew Pub, 123 E. Doty, a popular hangout, location of campaign fundraisers and election-night parties. It was here where once powerful Chuck Chvala, in happier times as senate majority leader, once sat at the bar and took note of lobbyists visiting the fundraiser of a political foe. Later Chvala would systematically threaten and extort money from the people he saw attending the fundraiser. At least that’s how grand jury saw it. 

Stumbling onward to Genna’s, 105 W. Main, the funky bar is known for televising reruns of the Lawrence Welk Show on Saturday evenings. Genna’s occupies two floors connected by a treacherous staircase. That’s why it’s remarkable that the stinko state senator from northern Wisconsin did not kill himself when he fell down the length of the staircase in full view of the alarmed patrons.

Our last tour stop is across the street from Genna’s -- it’s the Inn on the Park hotel and lounge where many a cheapskate pol has held court while consuming free hors d oeuvres like that Japanese guy who always wins the hot dog eating contest. Lots of meatballs and weenies. The food is pretty good, too. It was here, not in the cheesy lounge, but upstairs in one of the cheesy rooms, where a state senator and lobbyist became embroiled in an altercation with a stripper. The stripper won. Allegedly she was not paid in full for her services and caused a quite a ruckus. The police were called to quell the situation. No arrests were made, much to the relief of the senator who was running for re-election and still serves today.

And making an impressive early foray into the political tavern scene is the Public House, 380 W. Washington Ave. Less than a year after the grand opening, Attorney General Peg Lautenschlager enjoyed her infamous "two glasses of wine" before driving her state vehicle into a ditch along that lonely stretch of Highway 151 in Dodge County. Nice place. (The Public House, not the ditch.)

So there you have a quick tour of your reps’ offices. Your elected official is busy keeping his or her nose to the grindstone at all times, because official business takes them to important meetings outside the building, earning every dollar of your taxes, plus a per diem for out of pocket expenses.

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Copyright 2005, Michael Bie (Classic Wisconsin)

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